Time Passing Me By

October 07, 2010
Deepti Lamba

Couple of days ago we found our old honeymoon snaps. Next year, come April, it will be ten years to our marriage. We flipped through the few photographs that were taken in Darjeeling and we spoke about how young we looked back then. I was just 26 years old and Aaman a year older when we got married. I had the figure of a young girl, wore a carefree smile and had very romantic ideas about love, family and how life should be.

Today I am a mother of two, got a well rounded figure, with hair liberally peppered with grey strands and moving towards 40 at the speed of light.

I've decided not to dye my grey hair. My love affair with jeans has come to a natural end, my full figure looks better in salwars and in kurties and trousers. And since I gave up the struggle to cater to demands put by society to look a certain way life has become not only easier but fun too.

I've regained the child like excitement of wondering what becoming older is like. Sometimes I even daydream of being a white haired grandmother with little tots on my knee. Hopefully I will be wiser than I am now for when I look back at the years that have passed I realize in a lot of ways I'm not what I used to be. I've mellowed down, become more forgiving and willing to show more kindness to myself as well. Smiles come easier to me, I no longer suffer at the hands of demons of the past and I am a better mother as well.

The best thing these years have taught me is not to struggle against life but to go with the flow, to live through the horrid days knowing that there will be better days and on days that do go well to show gratitude in knowing that life has always been good to me.

dee.jpgDeepti Lamba is an author, besides editing at Desicritics
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