Commonwealth Games 2010: Incompetent and Deceptive

September 22, 2010
Being Cynical

Just when you think you have seen the last joker of the Commonwealth Games organizing committee, someone would come forward and prove you wrong. The latest addition to this illustrious list is Lalit Bhanot. From Scam to Sham, from Game to Shame, it seems we have it all in our endeavour to organize the so called best CWG ever. This is turning out to be a melodrama which could even send all Ekta Kapoor’s serials packing. The antiques and our responsibility-ducking attitude has yet again brought a truck full of shit and a whole lot of shame to our nation.

What was initially thought as a scam (Indians shouldn’t complain, as scams are in our blood) has turned out to a grand scale deception. I am now sure of their modus operandi – Keep on dragging your feet and don’t act till the point someone presses the panic button. Then the last minute the Jugad funda of us Indians would come into play and funds would be released. No questions asked and then it’s all about filling our pockets and fooling a billion plus population. If it was not an attempt at deception, then why was the media was shown only few selected Games village towers 10 days ago? Why were rosy pictures drawn before all of us? When reality came asking about its legitimacy, 10 days later we have fallen apart like a pack of cards. Suddenly all are critical about the Games, including the two Mikes (Hooper & Fennell). When the same pair was all praise for a brilliant Games village 10 days back, why are they critical now? Why are they running around with threats and giving us 24 hour deadlines to clean our posteriors or forget the Games? Uncomfortable but mandatory questions need to be answered in a hurry.

Let’s see how it all started and what Mr.Bhanot has to say when the CWG directors turned psychotic about the hygiene factor in the Games village. Instead of accepting the flaws he tried to teach all of us the theory of relativity in terms of hygiene. I am not sure how violently Albert Einstein would have turned in his grave. This brilliant attempt of his which might not win him a Nobel Prize left all of us high and dry. His statement was bizarre, ridiculous, disgusting and shameful – all at the same time. Does he have any idea that the whole world would be watching him blabber and would be dropping to the floor laughing at us? What he meant, when he said we have our hygiene standard and they have theirs, is out of my wavelength. Does he want to suggest that we Indians are filthy and living in dark ages without an idea what hygiene is all about? Does he want foreigners should come teach us about hygiene? Does he want to say that we are Jaahil and uncultured as a nation? You might be thick skinned Mr. Bhanot but for all of us, your jingoisms are shameful to say the least. Forget the scam, forget the incompetence – for this bizarre statement of his, he should be sacked at once.

If you think you are done with all the gimmicks then look at another genius – Maj (Retd) Dalbir Singh (Games village mayor). When hounded with the same hygiene questions, he was clueless and was at sea to say the least. I can’t elaborate what he said about various factors, as nobody can. So I better just list them one by one

1. Dogs sleeping inside athlete rooms – The fault of the MCD. The dog catching team was asked for but yet to report. So the stray dogs can jump in and take an afternoon nap on the same beds where athletes are supposed to relax. For God’s sake run after anyone you like, but don’t poison these innocent dogs for your ego.

2. Paan spits on the wall – The workers are all from UP & Bihar and fond of their Paan and Gutkha. So they might have done this artwork. Ask them instead of me, as I myself don’t consume them nor I have spit all around.

3. Messy and filthy rooms – Even when you occupy your own flat for the first time, it generally is messy. So we citizens shouldn’t blow our ass for this small reason. Oh really? Then should we ask all the athletes to come here along with their Jhadu, bucket and pocha lagane ki kapda? That would pretty much settle the case and solve the problem.

4. OC guys pissing all around in open air – Its nature’s call and one better be disposed to the nature directly.It is a matter of individual’s choice. You might like Western toilets but I might prefer visiting the nearest paddy field with a lota in my hand. You know it’s all about comfort levels. This is another theory of relativity in terms of shitting. And Albert Einstein turned violently again.

5. Algae in water tanks

It was for sure a bad day and the best was reserved till the last. Out of nowhere a foot overbridge near the Jawaharlal Nehru stadium gave in. This eventuality made the queen of the opera to come to the stage with her polished Miranda house accent. How I can forget her flamboyant cotton Saree? When asked how each day a new bloody thing can happen to the CWG, this is what she has to say – The foot over bridge was for the aam admi (so shouldn't be attached with CWG), not the players. So? Aam aadmi can die as long as you can save your back from the CWG ghost? Mam, can you imagine what would have happened – if few athletes were right below and the bridge crashed on their heads? Don’t bother how many of the aam addmi the bridge might take along while crashing on the poor athletes’ heads. As per her, the builder is black listed and some bloody enquiry would be carried out with reports expected in three weeks. So for next three weeks we shouldn’t bother her by showing our filthy and unhygienic faces. Let me admit – I am still in dilemma, whether to cry or laugh on these stupid statements. To top all this, a section of the roof in the wrestler’s arena of the Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium collapsed, and the Delhi CM, Ms. Sheila Dixit’s riposte was that small things keep happening.

The Games are fast turning out to be more irritating than anything. It is only because we have walked (read fooled ourselves) too far, we have no option left but to save our face and restore some respect of our nation, which was badly maligned by few crooks. M.S. Gill can promptly walk away from the cameras (no single word uttered) without taking any responsibility or even bothering to explain how he allowed so much mess to continue for years altogether. But we are not shameless like Mr. Gill and continue to pray our typical Indian Jugad might just see us save our already blackened face and red ass a little, one more time. I will offer a coconut at the nearest Ganpati temple from my side, if we manage to do so. But on a second thought - why can't all these rascals go somewhere and hang themselves instead? Skunks!

Fun is the next essential ingredient after Oxygen for this author. This chap is writing humor for quite some time without realizing that no one is reading. An IT coolie by profession he took to writing as he found Mayawati is not doing enough to balance out the daily dose of Humor needed by the human race. He could be found in all suspicious looking cyber spaces - From Orkut to Facebook, From Linkedin to Desibaba. The author can be reached via his Email which he invariably checks every 5 minutes (as he has nothing better to do). So if you are deprived of a big useless mail for sometime then just drop a test mail to this chap. You won't be disappointed. If you want a reply in double quick time then don't forget to add 'HOT PARTY GIRLS' or something like that somewhere in the subject line. Though he titled his blog as 'Being Cynical', regular readers feel, it should have been 'Occasionally Cynical, Mostly Mental'. P.S :- Befriending this human being is at the sole responsibility of the individual. It could bring unimaginable mental agony.
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Commonwealth Games 2010: Incompetent and Deceptive


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