Grapes Unfit For Wine

April 09, 2010
karachi khatmal

Almost every middle class sub-conti, or desi, has relatives who live abroad. When they return, it is a source of great excitement and upheaval. There is the obvious business of the chocolates and gifts they might bring, and the consequences of relinquishing bedrooms for the cousins. And when they arrive, the elders rejoice and revel in nostalgia, while their kids, returning to the 'homeland' for the first time, are often mute, shy shocked. But then they go to the bathroom, and they finally become animated. That moment is the exact point when they realise that instead of tissues, they would be dealing with lotas. in essence, that is when the reality of the new situation hits in.


Tn many ways, that has been the global reaction to the IPL so far. there are entire legions of servers that are groaning under the weight of anti-IPL drivel being posted on the interweb on a daily basis. and so little of it is about cricket. 

The gripes revolve around the shameless advertising, the crass commercialization, the hype and the hoopla. the reason there has been such an uncomfortable response is that like our foreign cousins, the rest of the cricket watching world is being introduced to the lota for the firs time. Only they are not getting it.

For those of us living here, cricket has long been shown in this way. the constant cuts to ad breaks, those annoying adverts that come on during the telecast on three quarters or half the screen, the crawling texts, the bouncing corporate logos when wickets fall etc etc.

While some may hate the fact that commentators keep repeating contrived phrases like DLF maximums and Karbon Kamal Katches, it is still a huge improvement in many ways. at least now they have a sentence they know how to phrase. listening to the likes of L sivaramakrisnan, aamir sohail, russel arnold, rameez raja, sikandar bakht, arun lal etc was just as nauseating, and they had even worse cliches than the citi moment of success.

The point is - there is a lot more going on that all the bitching and moaning is drowning out. there are oodles of world class players, there is a lot of context within the inter-personal battles, and there is great entertainment to be had. think about peitersen playing with all the saffers he left behind, sehwag being fozed by kumble, sachin getting another chance to captain and single-handedly carry a team etc. Plus, with all great entertainment, folks like fake IPL player and the eyepeeyell tweeter are around to rip apart all the BS and the pomposity.

So for everyone's sake, accept the lota and get on with life. as any desi would tell you, adjusting to only using tissue papers is quite a disconcerting experience as well, but you're not hearing us complaining.

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