Nawwab and I: Invisible Chastity Belts

January 04, 2010


N: You should go into manufacturing.
t: Me? Manufacturing?
N: Well you have friends who can put this together. You don't have to mop the floors. Just put up some seed money, gather your friends and do a start-up and it will take off.
t: Arrggh! This is not another hare brained Syedtester? I suppose you have a product in mind?
N: Chastity belts.
t: Hmmmm...what have you been sniffing lately? And have you been inhaling it too?
N: Woof woof! Just because I am a dog ...
t: It has nothing to do with hydrants Nawwab!
N: Cheap shot.

t: OK. Apologies. But chastity belts are so passe.
N: You don't know.
t: The ultra orthodox use it...er thrust it....er imprison their women in it?
N: And Farhat Hashmi clones also encourage women to embrace it.
t: Embrace? How embarrassing.
N: Regardless of your revulsion there is money to be made here.
t: I am allergic to it.
N: Yes you are, but you use it. And now there is a niche.
t: Alright, you would not let me return to the Redskins unless I hear you out.
N: What is it with you and perennial losers? Leafs, Jays, Redskins?
t: Who mentioned cheap shots earlier?
N: Look, be serious. There is a huge market for Chastity belts.
t: Yeah, yeah BDSMs.
N: No, it is not about tops and bottoms. These are aimed at real people, orthodox, controlling who use it almost daily.
t: Hey, Nawwab you are serious about this.
N: Woof woof! In the wake of the CrotchBomber, airport security has been further tightened.
t: That delusional idiot! Now they would scan the whole body.
N:That is my point. Old chastity belts would show up on the body scanners.
t: And so you want me to manufacture invisible chastity belts?
N: Now you are barking... er talking.
t: And how would they be invisible?
N: Heard of stealth bombers? Modify the same alloys to escape body scanner detection. There, I gave this away.
t: You are incredible, Nawwab.
N: And with good marketing campaign you can sell it to both men and women.
t: Men also?
N: Why not? Don't they have....
t: OK no need to explain this further...some grown up children also read this.
N: And there is more. Once you develop this alloy that would not be detected by the body scanners, you can branch into coated nipple piercings.
t: You are on a roll Nawwab.
N: Woof woof, and Lil S says you can also coat tampons.
t: Now, that is a winner. Lil S? Do I know her?
N: How do you know she is a her?
t: I learn from you O Nawwab!

love people who are in awe of words. words are the sole arbiter and the final survivor. desicritic editor, slave and slave-driver.
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